Funny Jokes and Quotes

Rude Sports jokes

Very funny and rude sports jokes!

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We’ve collected some not so nice and rude sports jokes

 

Number one sport

A woman, while touring a small South American country was shown a bullfight.

The guide told her, “This is our number one sport.”

The horrified woman said, “Isn’t that revolting?”

“No,” the guide replied, “revolting is our number two sport.”

10 Reasons not to jog

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now & we don’t know where the heck she is.

2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

5. I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

10. I don’t jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

Blond swimming

A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished.

When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, ”I don’t want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms.”

 

 

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