Funny Jokes and Quotes

Funny Short Jokes

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Sweet funny short jokes

 

Human nature

“I ain’t losing any faith in human nature,” said Uncle Eben, “but I kain’t he’p noticin’ dat dere’s allus a heap mo’ ahticles advertised ‘Lost’ dan dar is ‘Found.’”

 

Jail time

“What were you in for?” asked the friend.

“I found a horse.”

“Found a horse? Nonsense! They wouldn’t jug you for finding a horse.”

“Well, but you see I found him before the owner lost him.”

 

Lost and found

“Party that lost purse containing twenty dollars need worry no longer—it has been found.”—Brooklyn Life.

 

Lawyer short joke

A lawyer having offices in a large office building recently lost a cuff-link, one of a pair that he greatly prized. Being absolutely certain that he had dropped the link somewhere in the building he posted this notice:

“Lost. A gold cuff-link. The owner, William Ward, will deeply appreciate its immediate return.”

That afternoon, on passing the door whereon this notice was posted, what were the feelings of the lawyer to observe that appended thereto were these lines:

“The finder of the missing cuff-link would deem it a great favor if the owner would kindly lose the other link.”

 

Loveless

Mr Johnson “But why do you insist that our daughter should marry a man whom she does not like? You married for love, didn’t you?”

MRS. Johnson “Yes; but that is no reason why I should let our daughter make the same blunder.”

 

Creditors

Sarah “Jaimy is telling around that you are worth your weight in gold.”

Mom “The foolish boy. Who is he telling it to?”

Sarah “His creditors.”

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