Funny Jokes and Quotes

7 Jokes in English for Adults

A few jokes in english for adults

0 204

Easy to remember jokes in english for adults

 

Little people

O;Why don’t midgetts wear tampons.

A;Because they tripp over the strings.

 

Dirty Nun

There is this guy driving on a road and he see’s this nun walking on the side. He stops and asks if she needed a ride in to the nearest town and she said “yes”. So they are driving along and he finally asks “how do nuns have sex”. She said ” well they can’t be married or have any children”. He replied quick saying ” I don’t have a wife or kids”. She said “well thats good. So they pull over and go have sex in they back of the truck. After about 20 minutes they start driving again and he says” Sister, I have a confession to make, I am married and I have 3 kids.” and the nun goes ” Well I have a confession of my own to make, My name is George and I’m going to a costume party”.

 

Potatoes

Two potatos are standing on a corner..
Q:How can you tell which one is a prostitute?
A:The one that says IDAHO!

 

A drunk people person

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, And a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out.

A drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was Intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct, but how on earth did
you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

 

Speed limit

Q:What is the speed limit of sex?
A:68, because when you hit 69 you start going backwards!!!

 

Two hookers

Two hookers were standing on the street corner waiting for buisness, one hooker takes a deep breath and says “ahh..tonights goin to be a good night, I can smell the cock in the air.”, The other hooker says “No..sorry i jus burped!!”

 

Important study

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a mans’ penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didnt really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00 ( 3 cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man’s penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead

 

 

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.