TOP 10 FUN THINGS TO DO WITH A CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE
- Drill three holes in it, knock off the edges and use it as a bowling ball.
- See if the local food bank will take it. Don't be disappointed if they refuse.
- Re-gift it.
- Break it up with a sledgehammer and see if your dog can be fooled into mistaking it for kibble.
- Take it to the geology department of your local university and ask if you can have a thin slice of it for research purposes.
- While you're at the university stroll over to the biology department. Tell them you suspect it's a re-gifted fruitcake and would like to have it carbon dated.
- Build a trebuchet and launch it at the nearest castle.
- Shellac it and use it as a doorstop.
- Throw it in the trunk of the car in case you ever need a spare jack.
- Call Poison Control and ask what the antidote for fruitcake is.
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