TOP 10 FUN THINGS TO DO WITH A CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE

1. Drill three holes in it, knock off the edges and use it as a bowling ball.
2. See if the local food bank will take it. Don't be disappointed if they refuse.
3. Re-gift it.
4. Break it up with a sledgehammer and see if your dog can be fooled into mistaking it for kibble.
5. Take it to the geology department of your local university and ask if you can have a thin slice of it for research purposes.
6. While you're at the university stroll over to the biology department. Tell them you suspect it's a re-gifted fruitcake and would like to have it carbon dated.
7. Build a trebuchet and launch it at the nearest castle.
8. Shellac it and use it as a doorstop.
9. Throw it in the trunk of the car in case you ever need a spare jack.
10. Call Poison Control and ask what the antidote for fruitcake is.

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