IT WAS ON THE LABEL

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(What is this, the "Shoplifter Special?")

On Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion, mind you.)

On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): Do not turn upside down.
(Well now you tell me!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
(That's a relief.)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
(I'm afraid to ask!)

On Salisbury's peanuts. Warning: Contains nuts.
(Truth in advertising prevails!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet. Eat nuts.
(Thanks for the pointers!)