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PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD!


YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH HOLIDAY CHEER WHEN...

- You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
- Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
- You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
- You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
- You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
- You strike a match and your nose goes up in flames.
- You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
- You hear someone say, "Call a priest!" and they're pointing at you!
- You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
- You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the front hall closet.
- You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
- You tell everyone you have to go home and the party's at your place.
- You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
- You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
- You suggest that everyone stand and sing the national budget.
- You're at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan.
- You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
- You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
- You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.


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