Food jokes, funny pictures, wacky recipes, diet humor, food games, silly songs www.funnytummy.com

Mother's Day Gifts
Mother's Day gifts ranging from charming and inexpensive to fabulous and extravagant!


Funny TummyDiet JokesFood GamesFood HumorFood JokesFood LinksFood PicturesFunny RecipesFood Songs

 

PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD!



Funny Foodie Apparel
Funny Foodie Aprons
Funny Foodie Baby Bibs
Funny Foodie Baby Blankets
Funny Foodie Baby Bodysuits
Funny Foodie Baby Hats
Funny Foodie Baby T-Shirts
Funny Foodie Bags
Funny Foodie Bumper Stickers
Funny Foodie Buttons
Funny Foodie Calendars
Funny Foodie Can Coolers
Funny Foodie Christmas Stockings
Funny Foodie Clocks
Funny Foodie Coasters
Funny Foodie Dog Tees
Funny Foodie Drinking Glasses
Funny Foodie Drinkware
Funny Foodie Flair
Funny Foodie Framed Tiles
Funny Foodie Fridge Magnets
Funny Foodie Greeting Cards
Funny Foodie Hats & Caps
Funny Foodie Home Decor
Funny Foodie Iphone Cases
Funny Foodie Ipod Touch Cases
Funny Foodie Journals
Funny Foodie Keepsake Boxes
Funny Foodie Keychains
Funny Foodie Kids T-Shirts
Funny Foodie Kitchen Plaques
Funny Foodie Long Sleeve Tees
Funny Foodie Magnets
Funny Foodie Mousepads
Funny Foodie Mugs
Funny Foodie Note Cards
Funny Foodie Ornaments
Funny Foodie Pajamas
Funny Foodie Pet Bowls
Funny Foodie Pillows
Funny Foodie Polo Shirts
Funny Foodie Postcards
Funny Foodie Posters & Art
Funny Foodie Shot Glasses
Funny Foodie Steins
Funny Foodie Sweatshirts & Hoodies
Funny Foodie T Shirts
Funny Foodie Teddy Bears
Funny Foodie Thermos Products
Funny Foodie Toddler T-Shirts
Funny Foodie Tote Bags
Funny Foodie Travel Mugs
Funny Foodie Underwear
Funny Foodie Water Bottles
Funny Foodie Womens Plus Sizes
Funny Foodie Women's T-Shirts
Funny Foodie Women's Tank Tops

GOD & THE DEVIL - FOOD FIGHT

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create. And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit. And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds. And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance. Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice. And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds. And God created the life-giving tofu. And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?" And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.

And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.


Funny TummyDiet JokesFood GamesFood HumorFood JokesFood LinksFood PicturesFunny RecipesFood Songs


Privacy Policy :: Contact Us :: Site Map :: Disclaimer