CRAZY THINGS TO DO AT THE SUPERMARKET
1. Juggle the fruits.
2. Wedge things in all the freezer and refrigerator doors so that they don't close all the way.
3. Buy a live lobster and set it free in the store.
4. Shake all the sodas.
5. Have shopping cart races down the aisles.
6. Talk to the fresh fish.
7. Dump the tray of food samples in your purse.
8. Pop the champagne bottles.
9. Use cantaloupes for bowling balls and pineapples for bowling pins and hold a bowling tournament in the aisles.
10. "Accidentally" drop a jar of pickles and walk away very, very fast.
11. Fill a shopping cart with things like toilet paper, diapers, and kleenex and leave it in the cereal aisle.
12. Throw a party.
13. Use a banana as a telephone and talk to your Aunt Martha.
14. Go to sleep in a shopping cart in the middle of an aisle.
15. Make race car noises as you "drive" your shopping cart up and down the aisles.
16. Try to auction off a grapefruit.
17. When they ask you if you want "paper or plastic" reply, "Papestic please."
18. Switch the price labels on very expensive items with those of very cheap items.
19. Play hopscotch on the tiles on the floor.
20. Tell them you are with the Department of Health and you need to test all of their foods.
21. Get in the express line with more than ten items.
22. Try a food sample and then say in a loud voice, "This tastes horrible!"
23. Whenever someone is blocking the aisle in front of you go "beep beep!"
24. Buy 75 sticks of deodorant.
25. Randomly stick boxes of Midol into guys' shopping carts when they aren't looking.
26. Ask one of the cashiers if they have any pork that is suitable for a sacrificial offering.
27. Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" very loudly while walking around the supermarket with a shopping cart full of lamb chops.
28. Play with the pet toys.
29. Stick grapes in your mouth and spit them at people who aren't looking. When they turn around look the other way.
30. One word: kleptomania!