IF MICROSOFT MADE TV DINNERS
You must first remove the plastic cover, but
understand that it means agreeing to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.
You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement
of Microsoft's rights). They may, however, smell and look at your dinner. You must tell
them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these
keystrokes: \mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat//. You then enter:
ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme. If you have a Mac oven, insert the
dinner and press start.
The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners are subject to frequent crashes, in which case your
oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and
enter: <ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap. This process may have to be repeated,
and might solve your problem.
Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner
itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty. Microsoft says these
are for future menu items. However, the tray is so large that it will only fit in the
largest industrial ovens, forcing many users to upgrade.
Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken variety is
currently produced. If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will explain
that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.
Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken
dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size. Excess chicken may be
stored for future use, but must be saved only in Microsoft approved packaging.
Users get excited about having veggies with their Microsoft dinners, often telling their
friends about it, as though this were something new. Microsoft promises a dessert with
every dinner after 1998. However, that version has yet to be released. Users have
permission to get thrilled in advance.
The box for the TV dinners is so large that it will not fit in many smaller freezers, and
the shape prevents the storage of any other brand of dinners. Microsoft dinners are often
not compatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost.
Calling Microsoft Help will elicit the explanation that your freezer probably should have
been defrosted anyway.