THE LORD'S PRAYER (DIETER'S VERSION)
My appetite is my shepherd, I always want.
It maketh me to sit down and stuff myself.
It leadeth me to my refrigerator repeatedly,
Sometimes during the night.
It leadeth me in the path of Burger King for a Whopper.
It destroyeth my shape.
Yea, though I knoweth I gain I will not stop eating,
For the food tasteth so good.
The ice cream and the cookies, they comfort me.
When the table is spread before me, it exciteth me.
For I knoweth that I soon shall dig in.
As I filleth my plate continuously,
My clothes runneth smaller.
Surely bulges and flabbiness shall follow me
All the days of my life.
And I shall be "pleasingly plump" forever.