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DIET JOKES

  • Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.
  • The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.
  • Diets are for women who not only kept their girlish figure but doubled it.
  • A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width.
  • The best way to lose weight is by skipping ... skipping snacks ... skipping desserts.
  • Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two ... alone.
  • People go to Weight Watchers to learn their lessens.
  • The biggest drawback to fasting for seven days is that it makes one weak.
  • Sweets are the destiny that shape our ends.
  • A diet is what you go on when not only can't you fit into the store's dresses, you can't fit into the dressing room.
  • A diet is the modern-day meal in which a family counts its calories instead of its blessings.
  • For some, dieting is a weigh of life.
  • On a diet? Go to the paint store. You can get thinner there.
  • It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's the seconds.
  • It's something most of us do religiously: We eat what we want and pray we don't gain weight.
  • The problem with curbing our appetites is that most of us do it at the drive in window of McDonald's.
  • The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae is a spoon.
  • One guideline applies to fat and thin people alike: If you're thin, don't eat fast. If you're fat, don't eat - FAST.

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